1. "remorselessly forgettable"
I am but a remorselessly forgettable story of a man who will never love another thing. A beginning chapter to the cruelties of life, to what once was a bountiful village now being but a snowy mountain, the last breath of a knight that once fought. My helmet rests upon your throne, knowing that I devoted myself to you in the very end, despite going unrecognized for the rest of time. In a few years I will be but another story you look back on with either remorse or regret; either way I know without you I will fade, pathetically as I always have, and you will likely never see what I really needed you to see, never hear what I needed you to hear. I am the dead one, and you are the life I desire to still have.
2. "blackened"
Blackened is the beginning and blackened will be the end. A uniformity you cannot conjure if you desire. My demesne is another cave of bile, another cave of sorrow. I live in an endless war with myself, or what self there used to be before it came along.
3. "feel"
I don't want to feel anymore. I want to be alone. I want to be myself. I want to let go. To die on my own terms, to die of my own cause. To persist in spirit. To live as I die. To crush my soul more than it was crushed before. To forget. More than all, just to forget.
4. "crippling"
So many people exist in this world. So many people for me, with similar interests, with the exact same personality as me. And I can't find them. What is wrong with me? Am I truly destined to be alone, due to some sort of divine intervention? It shouldn't be so difficult. It shouldn't take this long. How desperate can I get before it's too late? I'm the only one who can save myself and I'm not willing to, nor will I ever be. That crippling loneliness seems to stay forever, no matter how long I may think it may have been shut out for. I'm a ghost. No one is ever going to want me, no matter how hard I try to change that. It always ends up in ruins. I always end up in ruins. It's not worth the struggle. Nothing is worth this struggle. I'll never know how or when this started, as far as I'm aware I was born this way, but I know the exact way that it will end. Soon, I know, for certain, will be the end of this all, once and for all. Once and for all I am going to do it. It's been long overdue, but I've finally decided there is nothing left here. All hope is gone. Goodbye everyone, my life is ending very soon.
"All around us
Hangs an air of darkest doom
And it flows out my lungs
And slowly fills the room
I open up my heart
And stick my fingers in
But you will never want
What I have to give."
- Dan Barrett
Funny, isn't it?